


Ball of Cheese

by doofnpuss



Series: Black Wedding [6]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: M/M, human!perry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-23 20:17:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16625723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doofnpuss/pseuds/doofnpuss
Summary: Heinz and Perry go about their daily battle as usual, but neither of them could have imagined the outcome.





	Ball of Cheese

It didn’t take a genius to realize that the outcome of exposed wiring and overpowered metal could possible result in an explosion. And with Heinz’s track record, it almost definitely would. But his nemesis acted as if a huge machine that required high voltages of electricity would function plugged into only one wall outlet.

Or maybe he just didn’t care. 

That’s what Perry seemed to notice half the time; the man almost didn’t care. It was if he played a character, and was forcing himself to believe in the role for that moment, but didn’t bother to take the energy to carrying out his evil plan to its highest degree. Or perhaps, Heinz really was this stupid. But Perry knew that observation was unfounded. 

“And now, Perry, witness the might of the most horrific, malicious, _nefarious-_ “

Perry wasted no time in finally releasing the last bolt from a cage that held his arms pinned to his side, and slipped free, immediately going in for a punch at Heinz’s face. The evil scientist toppled over, slamming down to the ground. 

“OW!” Heinz winced. He grabbed random items from the ground and chucked them in Perry’s direction. The agent dodged the attack with ease. He was too quick for this game, and both of them knew it. 

When Heinz ran out of defense materials, he jumped behind the sofa and grabbed the lamp stand, swinging it at Perry with full force. The agent hadn’t been expecting that, and was unable to dodge. He felt the metal collide with his stomach, and fell to the ground, gasping for breath.

“Ha!” With this small moment of time, Heinz began activating the machine once more, aiming it for the shoreline, where we was trying to hit the huge lines of tourists getting into the beach. 

Perry managed to get up and grab Heinz’s arm, yanking him away from the machine. Heinz punched his shoulder, but was unable to keep Perry from pulling him to the ground. He landed on Heinz, pinning him to the ground. For a second, the man stopped squirming, and looked at Perry with an expression of frustration. 

“Seriously, this is such a childish move.” Heinz grumbled. “Do I get to land another one yet, or are you going to keep me here for the next five minutes?”

For the first time, Perry felt a bit uncomfortable during one of their battles. This position was hardly professional. He stood up and ran for the machine, easily breaking in through the control panel and pulling out wires. 

Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to avoid the shock. He cursed as his entire body suddenly shook with the power of the electricity. 

“You think you’re so clever.” Heinz taunted. “But _I_ installed a built-in defense mechanism. It’ll shock anyone who dares to mess with it.”

Perry smirked. Maybe the man was more into this game than he first seemed. 

However, the agent wasn’t giving up that easily. Perry decided his next best move was to go for the remote. Heinz followed his eye movements, and jumped up, grabbing the remote from its spot on the sofa before Perry could get the chance. Bolting, the agent charged at Heinz once more, pushing him against doorframe and knocking him into the kitchen. 

Heinz was able to push him off and keep the remote out of his reach. They tumbled in the kitchen, knocking over chairs and bumping into the walls, each trying to wrestle over the remote like toddlers. Despite Perry’s best efforts, Heinz escaped from the kitchen and finished the settings on his machine. 

The agent watched, breathless, as it began to power. However, he knew something was terribly wrong. The entire building should definitely not be shaking. 

Heinz screamed. He was running in the wrong direction. But Perry couldn’t move. He felt the heat from the blast begin to move towards him at lightening speed. Everything moved in slow motion. He didn’t even feel Heinz pouncing on top of him, or the ear-splitting _boom_ that had half of Danville dumbstruck. 

 

* * *

 

“Perry? Perry! Perry!”

There was a bright light. Perry immediately shut his eyes when the light flooded his vision, and tried to lift his hands to feel his forehead. He had an awful headache, worse than he’d ever felt before. There was someone touching him, shaking him ever so slightly. He wanted it all to stop. He was so hot. 

“Perry, come on, stay with me!”

Wait. He knew that voice. 

“Heinz?”

Perry coughed and tried opening his eyes once more, barely able to focus on the familiar face in front of him. They were in the living room. Perry was laying on the man’s couch. When he looked over, he noticed half of the living room wall was missing, and stared at the cloud of smoke escaping out of the building. 

“Whoa.” Perry gasped, sitting up suddenly. “What happened?”

And then it all came back. The machine. The fight. Heinz grabbing him as the inator burst into flames. Perry looked Heinz up and down. The man had bruises all over, and blood was pouring down his face.

“You need medical attention.” Perry stuttered.

“Your agency is on the way.” Heinz shrugged sheepishly, though it was obvious he was exhausted and in a lot of pain. “They’ll help.”

“You saved my life.”

Heinz stared at him for a second, unsure how to respond. But Perry didn’t have time to dwell on this fact, because exhaustion soon overtook him. 

 

* * *

 

“You’re lucky that you were both facing away from the flames. Otherwise, this would be a different story.”

Heinz and Perry looked at each other from their hospital beds, sighing. They were going to have scars for weeks. Major Monogram, Carl, and Vanessa were piled into the room, checking to see how they were doing. Vanessa gave Heinz a kiss on the forehead and wished him a good night’s rest.

Perry was sure his family was dying to see him, but knew he couldn’t let them in until Heinz was moved to a different room. He couldn’t expose his family to the man, no matter if he saved his life or not. 

Heinz had saved his life. This revelation was still too shocking to process. 

“I hope you really consider a week off, Heinz.” Monogram grumbled. “Because I’m not sending my agent into the field for at least that amount of time.”

“Trust me. I feel like a ball of cheese.” 

“I’m sure. Well, Agent P. will be moving to another room tomorrow for last minute check ups, but you will be free to go. We are keeping an eye on you.” And with one final intimidating glare, Major Monogram and Carl left the room. 

Now that they were finally alone, Perry glanced over at his nemesis. “Thank you.” He sighed softly.

Heinz blushed, and looked away, as if embarrassed, before turning around to face the opposite direction. “Don’t mention it.”


End file.
